Diesel's Choice Page 4

  “Yeah well my mind is a special place.”

  “Don’t I know it.” I kicked him softly under the table. He laughed and shook his head. “Okay start at the beginning. What made you want to talk.”

  “I’ve been watching you.” He raised a brow. “In a non-creepy way.”

  “Noted, go on.” His lips twitched as he fought to keep from smiling.

  “I have been watching you with the guys and while you are back to your old self, I can tell that something is missing and I know what that something is because it’s the same thing I am missing. I don’t like having this distance between us, even though I have asked for it. I have just been feeling really guilty though. I can pretend to go on hating you, but it wasn’t until I was talking to Ellie today that I was finally able to admit the real reason that I couldn’t be around you.”

  “What is the real reason?”

  “I should have seen something was wrong before it got as bad as it did. I should have reached out to Cameron or Thomas but I didn’t. I didn’t see that you needed help. I have spent all this time pretending to hate you for hurting me when I was really hating myself for not being there when you needed me. I was dealt a hard truth today though and it made me see that I had to stop holding on to what happened and focus on what I want. The last four months has let me see things clearly and Ellie today gave me that final push.” I watched Freddie’s face as Jess set our coffee’s down.

  “Go on.” His voice was husky as he spoke.

  “I miss you. I want us again. I’ll never forgive myself for turning away when you needed me but I promise to try and make up for it.”

  “You have nothing to make up for. I put you in a difficult situation and when I came home, I made it worse by always being in your face. I was selfish and that was something I had to work on. Being sober and drug free was easy for me. Being without you was worse than any of that. Make no mistake though, babe, I was coming for you sooner or later.” He placed his hand next to mine on the table in front of us and ran his thumb along my skin.

  “I do have one small request though?”

  “What is it?”

  “I don’t want to lose you again so can we take this slowly? I don’t want us to go from zero to a hundred in seconds.” He nodded.

  “Whatever you need, beautiful. As long as it’s just you and me. I have one question though.”

  “Which is?”

  “A couple of months ago, you were having dinner with someone. Who was that?” I thought back. The only person I had gone out with in the last few months was my brother. Oh shit.

  “Oh! I just remembered. You have never seen a photo of my family! I haven’t really spoken about them much either have I?” He shook his head. “That was one of my brothers, Oscar. He and his racing team were in town for a few days and begged me to have dinner with him. Not wanting to rub your nose in it, I asked could we meet in Vegas but he insisted on coming here. Think that might have been Dad making him though.” I took a deep breath. “I ran home to Nashville when you came back. Dad would never drop in on me out of the blue so he would have the three boys do it if he was worried. It was two birds with one stone when Oscar came through.”

  “Okay, so I have another question for you. How am I not dead yet?” He laughed and I couldn’t help but grin.

  “You are only safe because I don’t think Dad told them the reason I came home. Not to say you won’t be if it happens again though so we may want to hold off on meeting the family for a little while.”

  “Good idea.” He picked up his coffee with his free hand and took a drink from it. Stirring my iced coffee with a straw, I took a sip to test the taste before taking a longer drink from it. We made some small talk about the workshop and how things were going and I asked him how he was doing with being home. I was the last one that he had to make amends with so now that his slate was clean so to speak, he could now leave the past where it was and focus on his recovery.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Freddie

  As we sat and drank our coffee’s, I couldn’t help but feel relaxed. I was happy to take things as slow as she wanted. I was also a little relieved to find out that it was her brother that I had seen her having dinner with and not some potential new love interest. I had been preparing myself for the worst when Ruby first told me that she wanted to meet me at the Coffee Spot. This was our place though and every time we had been here, had only been through good times. Our first date had been here after all.

  “Are you busy tonight?” I asked setting down my now empty coffee mug.

  “No plans that I remember. Why’s that?”

  “Want to do dinner and a movie?”

  “Sure! Rather than going out though, did you want to come over to my place? You can pick something up on your way over.”

  “Are you sure?” She nodded and squeezed my hand. I had to make sure even though I knew she never did anything she didn’t want to do. “Okay, I will see you around seven then?”

  “It’s a date.” She finished off her iced coffee and we got up out of the booth. Resting my hand on her back, I leant in and pressed my lips to her head. Walking her out of the Coffee Spot, Ruby took her keys and unlocked her car door. I opened the door for her and waited until she slid into the driver’s side before closing the door again. I stepped back as she started up her car and with a wave, she pulled out of the parking spot. Waiting until she had disappeared, I got on my bike and headed to my place. I would call into our favorite Chinese restaurant in town to get dinner. A couple of hours later, I was pulling into Ruby’s driveway, the smell of dinner filling the cab of my truck and making me hungry. Taking the food and getting out, I locked it behind me and walked up to Ruby’s front door. Knocking on the door, I heard her voice as she got closer to the door. When she opened the door, I went to say hello, but was cut off when I saw tears streaming down her face. Before I could talk, she was walking away from me and putting her phone into her pocket.

  “Ruby, what’s happened? Are you okay?” I sat the food on the entry table and followed her into her bedroom. I watched as she pulled a suitcase out of her closet and dropped it on the bed, opening it up. She wiped away some tears before moving to her closet and started taking out clothes and throwing them into her suitcase.

  “No, I have to go home. My brother called and something happened to my dad.”

  “Did he say how bad?” She shook her head.

  “No, he didn’t tell me anything. Just said that dad was being rushed to the hospital and that he would call me with an update once he knew more. I hung up on him when he started to tell me not to come before they had news.” I could see she was on the verge of losing it again. I walked over to her and pulled her into my arms.

  “Just breathe, baby, he’ll be okay.” She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest, her hands gripping the back of my shirt, bunching in her clenched fists.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because if he is anything like you, he is stubborn as fuck and not ready to let go yet. Come on, let’s get you packed and I will find you the first flight out. I’ll also give Raven a call and let him know you need to go out of town for a bit.” She nodded but didn’t move so I just held her against me. If she wanted to stay there, I wasn’t about to argue.

  “Will you come with me?”

  “Are you sure about that?” She pulled her head back and looked up at me, her tear filled eyes breaking my heart.

  “Please, I don’t think I can do this alone. Whatever happens...” I dropped my head and pressed my lips against her forehead.

  “I’ll come if that’s what you really want.” She laid her head back against my chest. I couldn’t say no to her. I know we had discussed taking things slow but this was different. This wasn’t something she should face alone. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and hit the green phone. Pressing my thumb against Raven’s number, I put it up to my ear as I waited for him to pick up.

  “Freddie, you good?” Fuck. I just re
membered where he was.

  “Yeah, bud, all good. Just forgot where you were for a second. I will give Chaos a call.”

  “I’m on the phone now, you may as well tell me. We are heading back tomorrow anyway so you would have to talk to me then.”

  “Well, see, now that’s the thing. I won’t be here when you get back.”

  “Okay... Why?”

  “Something has happened to Ruby’s Dad and we are flying back on the first flight we can get. Yes, I realize there is more to that story and I will tell you all of it, but just need to get back to Tennessee first.”

  “Do what you need to do. Tell Rubes I am here if she or the family need anything. Whatever you do though, do not wear your gear back home. Go casual because her family doesn’t know who she works for. Only her dad does. It’s not our place to tell that story and probably not the best time.”

  “Noted, thanks, boss. Sorry to disturb you.”

  “All good. Just take care of her yeah?”

  “With my life.” I said goodbye to him and booked the first flight out I could, giving me enough time to get us to Vegas to the airport. After doing that, I put my phone back in my pocket. “Come on, let’s get you packed so we can head off.” She pulled away with a sigh and kept packing. I knew once we had stopped at my place so I could get some stuff packed, she would be curled into me the whole trip but I wasn’t about to complain. It was the main reason I still had my truck with a bench seat. Ruby went into her bathroom and took her stuff from there. Once she put that in her bag, she zipped it up.

  “Ready.” I took her bag from the bed in one hand and took hers in the other. Walking out of the bedroom, she looked over and saw the food I had brought in earlier. “Shit. I’m sorry! I forgot all about dinner.”

  “It’s okay, gorgeous, just chuck it in the freezer so it doesn’t start to make the place smell and we can toss it when we get back.” I didn’t want to put it in the trash not knowing how long we would be gone for. She nodded and ran to do that while I headed out the front door. I put her bag in the back and opened up my door. After she locked the house up, she ran around to my side and climbed in. Following behind her, I started up my truck and pulled out of her drive, heading to mine. I stopped in my driveway and half expected to be just running inside but when I took my keys out, she slid over to the other side and opened the door. Unlike her place, mine hadn’t changed since I had gotten home. Was I about to look like a stalker with all of our photos still on the walls? I understood why she had taken hers down though. She took my hand again and we walked up the path to my front door. I unlocked it and let her walk through first, closing the door behind me.

  “Be right back.” I left her standing in my hall and walked down the hall to the back room. Opening up the closet in the spare room. I pulled one of my bags out. Closing the door behind me, I went into my bedroom and threw some clothes into it. I kept Raven’s words in mind, packing nothing that screamed MC club. I threw my phone charger into my bag along with anything else I might need. Closing it up, I looked up and saw Ruby standing in my doorway. Her eyes were on the photo beside my bed. It was my favorite. We had taken it not long after we had started dating. She normally hated that cute shit but one night, we were lying in bed and she was falling asleep tucked into me. I took the photo of us, her eyes closed and me with my lips pressed against her head.

  “Every photo is still in the same place it was the last time I was here. Even that one.”

  “I couldn’t take them down or put them away. It was my reminder of what else I am working for and another reason to stay clean and sober. I’m doing it for me but second to that, I am doing it for us. I couldn’t let go of that.” I grabbed my bag and moved over to her. She looked up at me before pressing her lips against mine. Snaking my arm around her waist, I pulled her closer to me and returned the kiss. Reluctantly pulling away, I pressed a kiss to her head.

  “Come on, I have a flight to get you on.” She gave me a small nod before pulling away. I wish I could keep her here and not have everything happening back home, but life had thrown her another curve ball. Hopefully this one wasn’t about to destroy her like the last one did. I locked up my place and led her back to my truck. We got in and she curled back into my side. Next stop; Vegas.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Diesel

  I hated my brother right now. Who the hell calls someone to tell them that their father was being rushed to hospital and they would call tomorrow with more news? As if I was going to be able to sleep knowing that shit. My whole family was back in Tennessee together and I was here away from them all. I had never felt more alone in my life. If it wasn’t for Freddie though, I don’t know what I would have done. He had come in and handled everything like a boss. He booked our flights and got us to Vegas airport in record time and checked us in. I was glad one of us was thinking clearly because it was taking everything I had not to break down in the middle of this airport. Once we landed in Tennessee, he hired a car so that we didn’t have to worry about getting from the airport to Mom and Dad’s. It was too late to go to the hospital when we landed and I knew no matter what level bitch-fit I threw, I wouldn’t get to see him so we went straight to my parent’s place. The plan was to get some sleep before going to check on him in the morning. If anything happened, my brother would call me and we could be there a lot sooner. I hadn’t told any of the boys that I was coming. I was going to leave that surprise as punishment for Oscar calling me and telling me not to worry. What a dick move. I let out a small sigh as Freddie pulled into Mom and Dad’s driveway. Reaching over, he took my hand and gave it a small squeeze.

  “He’ll be okay, Rubes. Your brothers would have called if there was bad news.” I snorted. He had a point, they were good at the bad news. Not so much with the good news.

  “Are you still club hitman?” The asshole laughed at me before leaning over and pressing his lips against mine.

  “I’m not killing your brother for you. You may not feel it right now but you would regret it later.” With another quick kiss, he pulled away and got out of the car. I watched him round the front of it and came and opened my door before getting the bags out of the trunk. I made a face at him when he grinned at me because I knew he was right.

  “I hate you.”

  “No, you don’t. You love me, now move your ass, babe. It’s late and you need sleep because you are grumpy as hell right now.”

  “I’m not grumpy!” I let out a huff that contradicted my last statement. He lifted a brow questioning me. Damn him for still being able to read me so well. Taking my keys out of my bag that still had Mom and Dad’s house key on it, I led him up to the front door. When I moved out, Dad refused to let me give my key back. He told me to keep it for when I came home. The boys on the other hand, he had taken theirs back without hesitation. I felt my chest tighten at the thought of Dad again. I knew I would be praying tonight. It was something I hadn’t done in a long time and while it seemed selfish of me to ask when there were more deserving people in the world, I wasn’t ready to let my dad go just yet. I didn’t think I ever would be. I just wanted him to hang around a little bit longer. Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the door and led Freddie inside. I turned the lights on and led him down to my room. Now that we had stopped, I could feel the exhaustion creeping up on me. I wasn’t about to admit defeat though.

  “Are you hungry?” Freddie sat the bags down and shook his head.

  “No but you should eat though. You didn’t even touch your food earlier.”

  “I’ll eat if you eat.”

  “If that’s what it takes then lead the way.” Freddie had tried to get me to eat something while we waited to board the flight but I was too worried to eat. I knew there was no getting around it now.

  “Let’s go see what they have.” I had no doubt that Mom would have this place stocked. She always did because rather than learning to cook and fend for themselves, the boys would come over here for dinner every night. Mom didn’t care because it meant she g
ot to see them and that they weren’t just surviving on a takeout diet.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Freddie

  After a sleepless night of Ruby tossing and turning every five minutes, I argued until she at least had some coffee before I would leave. She didn’t like it but I had the keys so unless she wanted to hot wire the car, which she was totally capable of doing, there was nothing she could do about it. I watched as the thought crossed her mind but she just sighed in defeat. I just hoped after she saw her dad, I could get her to eat something. Pulling up at the hospital, I had barely parked before she was out and headed for the doors. I was gonna have to do my best to keep up with her or I was gonna lose her. I got to the entry just as the nurse told her where she could find her dad. Ruby took my hand and we made our way down the corridor to the elevator.

  “Did they say anything?” She shook her head.

  “No, just that he was in the cardiology ward and was waiting for the surgeon to come see him.” Her voice shook as she spoke and I knew where her head had gone and with that news, it was hard not to. We stepped into the elevator and she pushed the button for the cardiology ward. I squeezed her hand as she let out a shaky breath.

  “No news is good news.” She shot me a look. I knew that was hard to believe given the ward that he was in, but I was going on the theory, as morbid as it may be, better a ward than the morgue. The doors opened and we stepped out, walking in silence as we followed the signs on the walls then looked for his room number.

  “I’ll wait out here.” Ruby stopped and turned to look at me.

  “Why?”

  “I’ll just let you have some privacy with your dad, babe. I’ll be right out here though if you need me.”

  “Why, when you could be right there with me if I need you? Please, Freddie, whatever I am walking in on, I need you there with me. Don’t let me do this alone!” I stepped closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. I could tell she was close to losing it.